


JiJi's Advice Hour

by singsungie



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Radio, F/F, Jisung and Chuu are bffs, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, and mentions of it, chaotically ambiguous morals, its kinda nightvale'ish so expect, weird stuff, who run a radio show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singsungie/pseuds/singsungie
Summary: Need advice that your friends can't give? Want to be heard? Have an issue that a good old regular full moon sacrifice just won't solve?Come talk to us! Every Saturday evening at the Miroh Community Radio, a couple of best friends by the names of Jisung and Jiwoo would love to give you some unqualified life advice!Not responsible for whatever actions you may take after hearing it (but please tell us how it goes!)
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Han Jisung | Han & Kim Jiwoo |Chuu, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	JiJi's Advice Hour

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is something... new to me, for sure, but I love Welcome To NightVale, and I love the JiJi BFF agenda, so I thought - why not? Obviously, you don't need to know about the show if you want to read this (though it is quite good), but do be warned for all kinds of weirdness and Things that Don't Really Make Sense. Except they do. In this universe. Kinda.
> 
> And though I did tag both of the pairings, still not sure just how big of a part they'll play - or at least, for now.   
Also, if there will be anything Extra Weird, I'll be sure to put the tw in the author's notes, so look out for that.  
Also thanks to my fave bat bby, ily<3
> 
> Enjoy!

_ Wow, what a tune to end the hour on! _

Truly! No wonder Chan is the best DJ this side of the river.

_ I think you mean the only one! [giggles] But let’s not waste anymore time! Welcome back, our dear listeners. Another Saturday evening has come, and with it, your favourite pair of best friends! _

Yes, that’s right: the sun is setting outside our studio and the phone lines are wide open—it’s JiJi’s Advice Hour! I’m your lovely host Jisung—

_ And I’m the even lovelier Jiwoo— _

And we are eagerly awaiting for your stories and questions. As always, you can reach us either by email at [ JiJiadvicehour@gmail.com ](mailto:JiJiadvicehour@gmail.com) or by calling 1025-[REDACTED].

_ Once again—it’s 1025-[REDACTED] or _ [ _ JiJiadvicehour@gmail.com _ ](mailto:JiJiadvicehour@gmail.com) _ . Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk your worries away. _

There wasn’t a problem we weren’t able to solve!

_ Yet. _

Yet! [laughs] Well, while we wait, why don’t you tell me about your week, dear Jiwoo?

_ Oh, it was nothing special, really. I read some books, went on a few walks by the river and made chocolate cupcakes to share with my friends here at the radio station! What about you, Jisung? _

The same as always! Of course, I hope you didn’t miss the festival on Friday—it would be a shame to work without my dear co-host for a whole month.

_ How could I! The fireworks were gorgeous this year and I can’t wait to see how our new Mayor will look like. _

Keeping my fingers crossed for a woman—Miroh is a very progressive town after all, and I have a hunch it’s about time. 

_ Well, you know what they say about hunches— oh, we’re getting a call! Yes, hello! You’re on air. _

**Hello. Um… **

What is the problem, dear caller?

**So, this is kinda stupid, but I haven’t talked to my parents in a bit. They just, um, they stopped picking up my calls. My friends say everything is fine and I’m just being too clingy but I can’t stop worrying, you know? Is it so wrong to try and keep in touch?**

_ Oh no! That doesn’t sound fun. _

Not fun at all! But maybe that’s just a gentle push from them for you to be more self-sufficient? Having a good relationship with your parents is important, but sometimes they need alone time too and there’s no better way to say it than by cutting someone off!

**Well, yes, maybe. It’s just so— I’m just concerned. I haven’t heard a word from them since last week, and I keep thinking maybe it’s something I said? Our relationship has been tense, even though I try to be understanding of our differing beliefs, you know, different generations and all, but there was a fight of sorts and— **

_ Ah, hold on for a second. You’ve mentioned last week? _

**Yes, I tried to call them on Sunday, but no matter when I did it, the call just wouldn’t come through. At first I thought they were at church or maybe out with friends or, I don’t know, just busy, but it just— kept happening.**

_ Well, I think this might not be the kind of problem you think it is! _

**H-how come?**

Oh, I see what you mean, Jiwoo. Dear listeners, it seems our caller has missed their mandated weekly news— 

_ What a shame! _

—and so wasn’t aware of the new plan to renovate all of the mobile towers at once, which has stopped our ability to reach any phone outside Miroh!

_ Temporarily, of course! _

Yes! Seems like your problem… isn’t actually one! Thank you for calling, however, and hopefully you won’t forget to tune in tomorrow. Don’t want to make it into a habit!

_ Habits are evil little things, aren’t they? Buuuut, speaking of outside Miroh— _

Oooh, is it spicy gossip time?

_ Maybe so! Here’s the scoop—the abandoned house at the end of my street has a new habitant, and he is, I’m not joking, one-hundred-percent an outsider! _

Well, seeing as we have nobody else on the line, feel free to tell me more, Jiwoo! Have you talked to him yet? 

_ A little! Saw him getting out of the car with two whole cats, so I immediately hopped over. _

Cats! What a rare sight nowadays. You must have been super excited!

_ I sure was! And then he said— oh, there’s someone here! Hello and welcome to JiJi’s! You’re on air. _

**Hi. It’s me, the teacher from last week. Um, I don’t know if you remember— **

We remember all of our callers! All. Are you the one with the crush or the one who’s hopefully not a teacher anymore?

**The—the crush one.**

_ So nice of you to call back! How did the confession go? _

**That’s the thing… it didn’t.**

Nooo! What happened? Don’t tell me you were too late…

**No, actually, or, well, not in the way I think you mean? They don’t have a partner, or at least I don’t think so. Well. I really hope not, though I doubt it even matters anymore. Ugh.**

Oh, what is it? Don’t keep us waiting, Teacher With a Crush.

**Well, they just got an administration job and now they’re my boss, basically, and it feels too awkward to say anything. I mean, I just don’t think anything could happen now, even if we both wanted it to. Between us, that is, well, romantically. So, yeah. I guess I have to just move on, huh? That’s the best thing to do?**

_ Hm, do you think so? Why’d you call us then, if you knew the answer? _

Oh, Jiwoo, are you implying what I think you’re implying?

_ I’m not implying anything, Jisung, you know what they say about that! No, I’m just trying to figure out what the caller wants from us. Is it blind encouragement or some actual advice? _

**I’m… not sure if there is any other way to do this. I mean, I would still gladly hear your suggestions, if you have any?**

I happen to have plenty! For example, visiting Eden’s for some tasty lunch—not sponsored—and eating your feelings away is always a good option. Or the only one. For me, personally, that is. 

_ Well, I don’t want to brag, but _ I _ have in mind something even better! _

**Honestly, not sure if there is anything better than Eden’s— **

Not sponsored! But it could be. Call us.

**—all day long breakfast menu.**

_There is!_ _I think we all know how fickle school administration jobs are. I mean, I had three principals in one year and we never even bothered learning theirs, or any other employee’s, names! All it takes is one call to the Police—and I remind you, it is never illegal to voice your suspicions to the Police, even fictional ones—and they’re right back to being your equal!_

Oh, yes, you’re very smart, Jiwoo! And sneaky. I wouldn’t have thought of that! Of course, I do have to warn both the caller and all of you, dear listeners, to be careful with the terms you use when talking to the Police, in case you find yourselves tied to a tree in the forest behind the local pool. Other than that, this is a perfect plan!

_ Exactly! And the moment it’s all back to normal, that’s when you strike! With love. _

**I— do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, what if I do it and it’s all for nothing and now I’ve ruined their career ** ** _and_ ** ** got my heart broken?**

_ It is a risk you have to take, Teacher With a Crush. _

Life is full of risks! Every second. Even you calling us was a risk. Besides, would _ you _want someone who broke your heart as your boss?

**Well, I guess not. You’re right. It’s worth a try.**

_ It is. Thank you for calling us! Hope to hear from you again next week, so we can help you with the nerves of a first date! _

Oh, first dates, what a wonderful thing. Aren’t they just so exciting, dear listeners? When was the last time _ you _ went on a first date, huh, Jiwoo?

_ Well, my dear nosy friend, my last one has been a while back. But my next one will happen pretty soon! _

No way! Tell us more!

_ You’re just dead set on keeping me blabbering today, aren’t you? Well, I’m taking her out next Wednesday afternoon, to the lovely restaurant on Peach street. The one that’s definitely not a front to foreign spying operation. You ever went there? _

Don’t think so! Though now I’m really tempted. If only I had a date of my own to bring there. Ugh.

_ You never know! Your new love could be right around the corner! Or secretly living in your attic. Oooh, maybe even in those unruly, overgrown bushes behind your house. _

Ah, speaking of that, the other day I actually saw what I _ think _ is a— oh? A new caller? How… timely. Welcome, welcome. 

**Hi, hello, uh, it’s me. I know, I know, but listen— **

_ Oh, no. Mrs. Klerment, we told you. You shouldn’t call anymore. _

**Listen! Just ** ** _listen_ ** ** to me! I know what I saw! What I ** ** _see_ ** **, and now she’s here and she’s**

Mrs. Klement.

**following me! I don’t know why, I don’t know what, but she’s doing something ** ** _bad _ ** **to me!**

Could you please calm down? Just take a deep breath. Here, I can count to five and— 

**No no no no, you don’t understand, no one is listening and I think it’s because they**

Okay, now you’re the one who’s not listening.

_ Oh, I’m so sorry, our dear listeners, for… this. _

**can’t see me, I think she’s taking it all away. I think… she’s taking my existence away. And I know how it sounds but please, just ** ** _listen_ ** ** to me, you have to help me!**

Hey. Then how come _ we _ can hear you? You seem pretty… existing to us. Maybe you just need to calm down. We can call a doctor for you and— 

**They ** ** _can’t_ ** ** help! They don’t get it! No one does. But I know you would. I know you’ve seen her too, I know, she told me, please just help me— **

What? Stop this madness, Mrs. Klement, you don’t know anything at all, and _ whoever _ you’re conversing with is clearly lying— 

_ Um, oh well, it seems it’s sponsor time! See you in a sec, stay tuned in! Jisung, hey— _

  
  


[ Walking! What a fun thing to do. Most of us have done it once or twice, and we surely enjoyed it, using our human legs to move from one spot to another, at a reasonable pace. Walking! Such an experience. An unforgettable, dreadfully exciting experience, incomparable to anything else. Walking! It’s not standing, and it’s not running, because it is better than both of those. There’s no point in running. Running is dumb and useless and was never a good choice. Just keep walking.

Brought to you by IKEA ]

  
  


We are so sorry about all of… that, dear listeners, but Mrs. Klement is now being taken care of.

_ We promise she will be fine. Um, well, maybe now for a change of pace, we could read a few letters from our email inbox? _

Yes! That sounds great to me. Okay, it looks like there’s a couple of new ones. Do you want to go first or..?

_ Feel free to start! _

Okay!

**Hey there Ji and Ji!**

**Oftentimes, I find myself feeling insecure when I’m around my friends. I mean, I ** ** _am_ ** ** the only alive human in the group, but there’s nothing wrong with that, right? And yet every time I have to take a bathroom break or breathe, I can just feel their crushing, judging stares. How do I deal with this feeling while not giving up my mortal life?**

**Alive in the Old Town**

Hello, Alive! Well, from my point of view, you should be _ proud _ of your mortality. Yes, it can be frustrating and annoying sometimes, but try and remember every time you breathed in the fresh smell of rain, or woke up rested and happy after a night of sleep that was only lightly plagued with nightmares! And the taste of your favourite food! Isn't it just amazing?

_ Exactly! All of these small experiences you might miss and forget, only because you’re so used to them, are also what makes life worth it! Besides, there must have been a reason why you became friends in the first place, which means they want to be around you, so try to remember that too! And if you still find yourself restless, consider being upfront with them and talking it out! _

Honesty is a great policy! We wish you luck in keeping your heart beating and your lungs working. Ah, Jiwoo, I know you want to read the next letter already, but all this talk about friends is making me feel nostalgic. Isn’t it just great how we became such good friends?

_ It is! I would’ve never thought we’d have our own radio show when I pushed you into that sand pit, but now I’m more than happy I did! _

Nothing like a good fight to bring two people together! Okay, enough sappy. Let's continue!

_ We have just enough time for one more email and a call, so keep your phones ready! _

**Hello, JiJi!**

**I feel too shy to call, which is why I’m writing to you! So here’s the deal: I know you never pick up his calls. Maybe you should? I promise he will not hurt you! I’m definitely just a concerned citizen that wants a fellow human to get the advice they deserve! So please listen to me. And pick up. He will call until you do, and I know you will, eventually. You’ll have to. So just do it. Now. Pick up. **

**Pick. Up.**

**Concerned in the Riverbend District**

_ Well, Concerned, we have no clue what you mean. We pick up _ all _ of our calls. _

Maybe your friend is just calling a wrong number! And maybe that is a sign. Please never write to us again.

_ Indeed! Speaking of callers, though, we are waiting for our last one of the day. _

Ah, wow, time passes by so fast, every week. Can never get used to it. I’m grateful for however long we get, though. I love hanging out with both our great listeners and you, Jiwoo!

_ Well… I mean, it’s not fully finalized yet, so shhhhh, but, because we are the most popular non-government-mandated radio show, the upper management is considering either prolonging our time or maybe even giving us a second day of the week! _

Oh! That really is… something. Yeah. The most popular? You’re sure?

_ Uh-huh. Trust me, I couldn't believe it either! _

That’s just insane! Wow. I’m so happy, dear listeners. This show… It has been our baby. Thank you, really.

_ We are very grateful to be able to do this and we can’t wait— oh! And here’s our last call of the day! Hello! You’re on air. _

**Hi. Well. This isn’t ** ** _exactly_ ** ** a call for advice, but…**

Don’t worry about it! Please just talk about whatever is on your mind.

**Many things! They’re always on my mind, ahaha. Ah. Well, I’m calling, mainly, because Jiwoo here mentioned her neighbour, a little while back, and it had me thinking about mine. You know, I never had any problems with them. Which is nice, on one hand, and on the other, it’s… concerning?**

Ah, I absolutely know what you mean! It’s like, what are they up to? Why is it so quiet?

**Yes! But also, how could I ever think they’re up to no good, I mean, one of them has the most adorable puppy! I think it’s one of those popular corgi mixes, and I always see its curious little eyes staring at me through a gap in the fence. Okay, maybe I do want advice. How does one go about courting a neighbour? I mean, I usually like to watch my potential partners from a corner in a dim bar and then follow them home just to make sure they’re good enough, but I don’t think the corgi owner even ** ** _goes _ ** **to a bar! And I already know where they live. Should I just break in like always anyways?**

Oh, lots of love questions today! Well, I think Jiwoo is more qualified to answer this, as it has been a hot second since I last courted someone. 

_ Jisung, we all know you’re an irresistible charmer, even out of practice! Don’t put yourself down. But, also, if you insist— here’s what I think. Sometimes a change of pace is exactly what one needs, our dear caller! And if you in no way can give up the ritual, have you thought about stalking them in a grocery store in your own neighbourhood? Maybe stage a meetup in a coffee shop? Of course, you could skip all of that too, as it is mostly quality control and, well, if they own a corgi pup, you already know they’re a great choice! _

**Hm, perhaps you’re right! I think I’ll just go for it. I’ve been feeling pretty hungry lately anyway.**

Ah, glad we could help and thank you for calling us! Hopefully all of the corgi mix owners will make sure to lock their doors and close their windows tonight.

_ Or, who knows, maybe they’ll decide to leave one open! _

Oh, Jiwoo, what are _ you _ implying?

_ Implications are for disgusting cowards, Jisung. _

Ah. I always forget that! 

_ I know you do. But, I am sad to announce that it's time we say our goodbyes! _

Ugh, does time go twice as fast on Saturdays? Well, at least it surely seems so. Still, thank you Jiwoo, for being such a great friend and an even better co-host, as always!

_ Same goes to you! I can’t imagine a weekend without you. I just… can't. _

Me neither. Or without you! Ah, and, dear listeners, thank you too for joining us once again on this beautiful evening. We can’t wait to hear from you again next week!

_ Of course, if you wish to seek our sweet, lovely voices before that, you could come meet me on Wednesday afternoon, for some mid-week positivity! _

And I’ll see you on the Monday morning show, where we not only tell you how your week will go, but also interview some unexpecting celebrities. 

_ Stay tuned for three hours of barely audible crying. Perfect to fall asleep to! _

  
  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - - - e l l o ? - - - n y o u h - a - m - - - l e - s e - - s - - e n - i - - e d - - u - t - - - - - - - - -**

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed your time in listening to Miroh's favorite couple of best friends!  
feel free to contact us via [twt,](https://twitter.com/JiJisHour) [cc,](https://curiouscat.me/squishiesungie) or email at JiJiadvicehour@gmail.com


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